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Cuz you’re hungry | Million-Dollar Idea Store :: We think better than you.
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Genius in Real Time

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Cuz you’re hungry

Edible Play-Doh.


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What a freaking no-brainer this is. Play-Doh has been around since 1723, when the Indians traded it with some New Englanders at a pot-luck dinner, and has been a popular plaything for children and adolescents (and also my brother) who think it’s funny to mold it into the shape of private parts ever since.

So. Freaking. Tasty.

Throughout the centuries, one thing has remained constant: though non-toxic, Play-Doh cannot be considered “edible,” though it looks tasty as hell.

In addition to looking delicious all on its own, Play-Doh can be molded to look like actual food, which can be even more confusing for children and some young adults. So, obviously: Edible Play-Doh. Give it flavors if you must, but seriously? Kids love it the way it is. I mean, give any kid under age 4 a couple cans of Play-Doh and it’s half gone in 20 minutes.

Really, you could probably just market it as “edible” and be done with it. Now Little Johnny can have playtime and snack time at the same time. (Marketing Genius at work here…)

Better yet? Because the customer consumes the product, they’ll have to keep coming back for more. And you’ll just get all kinds of rich. Or something.

Grilled pizza


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The truth is, I should be sitting on a pile of money right now. Seriously.

Several years ago (and I mean several…as in, a billion), I was sitting around with a couple of pals when the genesis of the most brilliant idea ever struck us: the marriage of pizza and the grill. These days, grilled pizza is one of those novelty foodstuffs just about everyone makes, and stores have plenty of grill accessories to help. But at the time, nobody that I’m aware of had yet thought of making a pizza on the grill.

Our plan was to keep the secret close to the chest, just in case we decided to open our own restaurant someday. But since the secret is out, well, I might as well out myself (and the Lupo brothers) as inventors of the grilled pizza. Here’s how we did it:

First, you obviously can’t put pizza dough on a naked grill. We threw the dough first and popped it in the oven, just long enough to firm it up, so it wouldn’t seep through the grill slats. In our version, we replaced the pizza sauce and toppings with a super meaty version of my world-famous chili, applied liberally to the crust. Next, we added Monterey Jack cheese and jalapeno peppers. And then we put the whole thing on a warm grill until the cheese was melted. Easy.

Obviously, you can grill any type of pizza. These days, you have your choice of various pizza pans and stones made especially for the grill. But the truth is, I did it first. You’re welcome.

Poptartwich


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Pop Tarts are good any time of the day. They’re good for breakfast, at lunch time, or for a late-night snack. The only issue with Pop Tarts (we’ll say this, because you don’t have the guts) is there are two in a package. Lest you appear some kind of pig, you mustn’t eat both, right?

Ahhh...the wondrous new replacement for bread.

Now let’s talk sandwiches. Clearly one of the most perfect foods, the sandwich is both functional and filling. It’s both delicious and convenient. But let’s face it…besides the Monte Cristo (a regular hand and cheese that’s been deep fried) there haven’t been any real advancements in sandwich technology — particularly in the bread department. Sure, there are rolls and different types of breads, and KFC made a sandwich that has chicken breasts instead of bread, but we can do better.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Poptartwich.

This simple bit of brilliance is exactly what it sounds like: A sandwich made with Pop Tarts instead of bread.

Simply take a Pop Tart (I suggest strawberry or blueberry) and slather peanut butter on the unfrosted side. Stick that to the other Pop Tart in the package. Enjoy.

Wanna really mix it up? Add a little marshmallow Fluff. In fact, Fluff is the perfect thing to place between some of the sweeter Pop Tart varieties — the chocolate ones, in particular.

Brilliant, right? Now you can enjoy BOTH Pop Tarts in the package, and fill your belly with a simply, delicious sandwich, all at once.

Enjoy! And send us pics of yourselves enjoying the Poptartwich.

Loaf of sandwich


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We’ve all been there. You want a sandwich, but you don’t have the fixings. And a trip to the store seems wasteful just for a simple PBJ. But you go anyway. You get your bread and perhaps peanut butter. You return home. And in the midst of sandwich making you find you have no jelly.

What a waste.

Happy time is over, right?

Wrong.

The problem with bread is thus: What, besides making sandwiches, do you actually DO with it? Pretty much nothing. So why do we buy sandwich components separately, when clearly we’d be happier with a single-purchase item: good bye, loaf of bread; hello, loaf of sandwich.

The loaf of sandwich would be, well, a loaf of PBJs, stacked ever-so-neatly inside a lovely bread bag. Most likely, the individual sandwiches would be separated by wax paper. And, of course, the loaf of sandwich would be available in the freezer section.

Think about it: You want a sandwich for lunch. You don’t want it to be all soggy and warm by the time you get to it at work. Just break a sammy off the loaf, stuff it in a bag and go. No jars. No knives. No dishes to wash, no fear of running out of ingredients. Just delicious sandwiches.

THAT, friends, is real sandwich bread.

Meatsketti


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We’ve all done it. Ordered spaghetti and meatballs only to be disappointed in the amount of meatballs on our plate. It’s OK when the balls of meat are of monstrous proportions, but let’s face it, the chances are most unlikely. Sometimes we get a towering heap of pasta covered in a minuscule ladle of sauce. Add that to 1 or 2 golf ball sized meatballs and your evening is ruined.

For some of us, the only way to suffer through such a lack-luster meal is to sprinkle parmesan cheese, and crushed red pepper all over creation. Well, those days could be behind us. How you ask?

Simple. Demand that your favorite restaurants offer Meatsketti. The dining experience will change forever. Meatsketti is served with no doubt. It is meat shaped like pasta that you can twirl around your fork. It’s covered in sauce, and is guaranteed to come with one pasta ball.

How do you make Meatsketti? There are many ways to prepare Meatsketti, but the varying recipes and ingredients are up to the chefs of your favorite restaurants. We will at some point post directions on this page, so be on the look-out.

Here is a concept we developed to assist in the Meatsketti making process. The device is called the “Meatsketti Maker 2000.” Enjoy.


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Prescription pants


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The only reason Jared got so big in the first place it that he could get stylish jeans and still look fly.

No doubt you’ve heard that America is in the midst of an obesity crises. Everyone is fat these days. Fat men, fat women. Even fat babies. Government has tried to step in by making sure people know what comes inside a Big Mac. Schools are clamping down on sodas and sweets. Heck, even Nintendo is trying to help people get skinny by offering the Wii Fit.

None of it’s working.

How do you solve the obesity problem? Easy. Prescription pants.

These days, there are pants for everybody, no matter how big you are. Curing obesity is as easy as creating a cut-off point. Let’s say size 42 for men. If you need bigger pants, you won’t be able to get them without a prescription from a doctor. And prescription pants won’t be pretty; they’ll be orange. Bright orange. And they’ll say “Prescription Pants” on them. Doctors can prescribe the pants for limited amounts of time, unless a medical condition precludes a person from every losing weight. Once your prescription runs out, you don’t have pants anymore.

The effectiveness is two-fold: First, those who are overweight have an incentive (ie: no pants) to lose weight. Second, those who are not overweight will work hard to stay in shape, lest they’re forced to suffer the shame of wearing prescription pants.

Problem solved.

Reusable ice cream cone


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The ice cream cone, just moments before the inevitable heartbreak.

We all love ice cream, don’t we? Of course we do. Few things in life are as frustrating as enjoying the creamy deliciousness of an ice cream cone, only to have the cone break and the scoop of frozen goodness fall to the ground in a heap of shame and despair.

And sometimes you just don’t have cones in the house, right? So in order to enjoy the ice cream, you’ve got to hit up the store.

The answer: Plastic reusable ice cream cones.

I know what you’re saying: “They already have those. They’re called bowls lol.” No, they aren’t.

Problem with a bowl is that eating ice cream from a dish requires two hands. The cone is perfect because it requires only one hand. The cone is a perfect invention…portable, convenient — a really great form factor, especially the flat-bottomed ones you can actually set down.

The plastic cone maintains the form factor and portability, but without the breakage from regular cones. Worried about getting all the ice cream from the bottom? Don’t be. These cones could be made with either collapsible sides, allowing the user to crush and squeeze the ice cream to the top, or with push-up bottoms.

Text your order


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There are few things that annoy me more than long lines at the drive-thru. One of those things is the person ahead of me in the long line at the drive-thru who hasn’t made up his mind what he’s going to order. The convenience of ordering from the car is gone when I’m in line 15 minutes.

Satisfying your Big Mac attack is so easy, you can even do it on this cave man phone.

Here’s how to fix this: Text your order. Genius, I know!

I want a Number One from McDonald’s on Main Street. I text my order, get a return text with my order number, drive up to the express window and pick it up. I’m charged on my cell phone bill (or, I could set up an account prior and have it direct debited from my checking account) so I don’t even need to go through the hassle of getting money out or making change — just drive up to the window, tell them your number, and enjoy the delicious Big Mac.

It’s all pretty simple, really.